Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Mommy Please

Babies, Babies, Babies... a topic that I can not seem to get out of my head lately. My biological clock has been ticking in my ear the last couple of years, but now it is positively chiming away. Especially now that I seem to be stepping into the role as step mom to Roarke's beautiful daughter Jenna. Seeing her so much lately has really started making me want a child of my own super bad. I've been putting it off for years, using excuses such as: I haven't found the right guy, I'm not ready yet, I'm not financially secure, or even just because I'm selfish of my time and really am not looking forward to having to wake up before 10 am. While all of these reasons are justifiable, they just don't seem to be as significant as they once were. And the right guy problem seems to finally have worked itself out. Roarke is the best dad; he even has 75% custody of Jenna. So, now more than ever, I can't seem to get the baby option out of my head. We have even talked about it already, because he broke up with his ex because she didn't want any more kids and he did; and I, wanted to make sure he knew that I definitely want my own kid one day. So now lies the question?? Is it too early to stop taking birth control? I mean, we haven't even been dating for two months yet for god's sakes. So to help me make a more informed decision, here is my pros and cons list for starting the process of getting preggo:

1. Roarke is an excellent dad and even if we did break up that would never change
2. I've waited a long time and I'm not getting any younger
3. It can take a long time to get pregnant so maybe I should get started
4. I've always made excuses for why I didn't want a baby with a guy but truthfully, I can honestly say none of those apply to Roarke. I would love to have a kid with him
5. He is settled down and wants me to become more serious as well. A baby would definitely help me do that
6. I feel like there is a void in my life and I know that it's because I've been waiting to be a mother. I'm ready to start my life, grow up, and make my life mean something finally


1. I'm not living with Roarke yet and don't plan to until next year at the earliest and I don't want to have a baby until we are living together
2. Before I move out there, I need to find a job in his town and fix my car so I'm able to drive back and forth to see my family
3. Our relationship is still so new which means spending time together is incredibly important. Once a baby comes into the picture that all changes.
4. I'm just starting my relationship with Jenna too, and I want to make sure we solidify that before we add a baby into the picture who will take up a lot of my time
5. I absolutely 100% know I'm going to be a monster bitch when I'm preggo and I'm definitely not looking forward to it; and kind of want to wait until Roarke and I are completely solid so he doesn't run the other way :) (Just kidding about this one, I know he wouldn't)

So I don't know how to decide which direction to go but I'm sure the only thing to do is follow my gut. All will be revealed in time. I mean, I waited forever for Roarke to come along; I just knew in my heart that if I stopped dating jerks that the right guy would eventually come along. And look how that turned out?

1 comment:

  1. ML, I chose not to have kids. Well, I have been pregnant before but lost my baby, but with anti-convulsions medication, it is not the best idea for me if I want a healthy baby. And every parent wants a healthy baby.

    But I know you will make the right decision. If it is with this man or someone else. Good luck either way.