Friday, March 25, 2011

Love sucks

With my dating experience, I've noticed that it is really hard to find an excellent guy out there. By excellent I mean someone who is a great father, (or capable of being one)goes to work and pays the bills, treats you with love and respect, and is fun and exciting. This is the kind of guy that I would find myself lucky to be dating so I can't help feeling infuriated when I see someone I know leave a guy just like this. What more could anyone ask for? To be fair, I am not in this relationship so I don't know all the ins and outs but I do know for the most part, this couple has been very happy together. They have a beautiful daughter, who they both love very much, a nice home, good jobs, and they are really good friends. At this time though, she has moved out of their place and has yet to give him a reason for leaving their family. He is absolutely devastated, and I am so sad because it pains me to see him hurting so much and I don't know how to help him. I am not good with endings. I guess you could say that I have abandonment issues and I can't understand this situation. Maybe she has just fallen out of love. That happens to some people. I don't understand it but I guess it does happen. But I can't help but feel angry at the selfishness of this whole situation. I know only too well how hard it is to find someone that is worthy of even dating, let only making a life with, so why throw away a good thing? What's the point? Well, I'm done ranting. I just had to get that off my chest.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

I have cancer

Well, not really.. but my stomach feels like it. Went out for my brothers 29th birthday and I drank wayyyy too much alcohol. Now my pancreas feels like it's on fire and I don't know why I'm actually surprised. After the last ER visit, and the millionth doctor telling me I should never drink again, it's kind of stupid of me to keep repeating the same behavior over and over again.

I feel so old and I'm not even close to 30 yet. I used to party my ass off, wake up and drink a beer for breakfast. Now I wake up, pop a vicodin, lay on the couch for 2 days in agony and feel embarrassed that I've stepped back into my frat house days. God, I hate getting old. Even my excuses when I call in for work have become weak and lame. I use to have that shit in the bag and now I feel the glares on my back when I come back after calling in because of a massive hangover. It's not like I'm going to teach kids though when I have vodka sweating out of my pores. Might cause the little monsters to get contact or some such nonsense.

Alright, it's 4 am and my insomnia is starting to fade so night night.... xoxo

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy

I am going to admit something that I mainly keep a secret from most people. I am addicted to t.v. I guess most people are but I have a few shows that I think of as "guilty-pleasures" and are kind of embarrassing. The first would be The Vampire Diaries. I have read all of the books, even though they are mostly for teens, but I like the show better. Ian Somerhalder is so hot and he has those gorgeous eyes; boy could bite me anytime!

When the Jersey Shore first came out I didn't watch it. I actually thought it was quite stupid. I ended up watching a marathon on MTV one Saturday when I was super hung over and I have been addicted to it ever since. I would never actually hang out with these people though. I think their love of hair gel, orange skin, and over-processed hair is ridiculous, they objectify women by calling them grenades and whatnot but the show does have it's funny moments. And Vinny is pretty cute! (Obviously I'm a sucker for cute face)

Monday, March 7, 2011

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Hey Guys I'm back! Sorry it's been a couple of weeks but I have been mad busy. I'm really starting to like my new job working with kids for this After School program. It's really challenging but it's giving me a lot of experience working with kids and I hope it'll help me in the future. I don't know if you all watch the news much but if you have, you've probably heard about the budget crisis going on in Wisconsin and how it is affecting our teachers. I have been down at the capitol protesting and doing my part to try to get awareness out about how sheisty our governor is. I am worried that there may not be many teaching opportunities for me by the time I graduate and I've been very stressed out about it. I will try to keep the blog going as much as possible though. Sorry about the lapse but life happens.

Anyway, back to the 30 day challenge that has now turned into the 4 month challenge:

For day 20 I am supposed to talk about someone that I could see myself marrying or being with in the future. This is a very hard thing for me to talk about though because as you've probably learned from my previous posts, I do not have very good luck in the love department. I Guess you could say that I haven't had very much in the way of role models for relationships though. My parents divorced when I was 2 and I saw them in the same room with each other for the first time when I was 18 and graduated high school. My grandma was married twice and is also divorced from both her husbands. None of my friends have gotten married, and the longest relationship I've ever had is a year and a half. I feel like that's my curse and I can never seem to get a relationship to last longer than that.

Will I ever get married? I don't know. I don't want to end up alone like my grandma that's for sure. She once told me, after having a couple of margaritas one night at Pedro's, that she hasn't had sex since 1995. That is just sad. The way things are going that will probably be my fate too. Destined to end up as the neighborhood cat lady, alone, with cobwebs growing in my cuslapis from lack of use!

But if I had to create a list of the qualities I look for in a guy they would have to include the following:

1. Can't live at home with his mom, dad, grandparents, aunt, uncle, or any other family member (you might think that this shouldn't be my #1 thing but a lot of guys I meet are still living at home)

2. Has to like my family (this is harder than you would think because my family is so dysfunctional)

3. Doesn't smoke

4. Has to be motivated

5. Has to own a car (so tired of dating guys that don't own a damn car. I want someone to date, not someone to chauffeur)

6. Reasonably good looking, with a nice smile, good sense of humor, and takes care of himself

7. Reasonably intelligent

8. Treats me with respect, honesty, and caring

9. Has an accent

So there are a couple of examples of things I look for in a guy but he could also be any of the following and I would gladly take him:

Channing Tatum, Brad Pitt, David Beckham, Drake, Usher, Chris Evans, Sam Worthington, Johnny Depp, or Ryan Kwanten. Any of these guys would do.