Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Drunken ramblings

Day 10 of sobriety

Today is day 10 of sobriety and I'm not going to lie. I had two beers within that time but otherwise I've been a good girl. G's birthday was last week and I went to the dinner and then bowed out when they were heading off to the bar. I knew I wouldn't be able to go to the bars with them and not drink, dinner was hard enough, so I left. The weekend was actually really fun even without liquor. I went swimming Saturday and got some color on my pasty ass. Sunday I worked and had a BBQ with the Fam on Memorials day at the park. I thought I was going to be bored as hell all weekend but I surprised myself by participating in some PG activities and having a good time.

I'm not going to lie and say that it's been easy. There have been moments where thinking about the taste of a Leinies Honey Weiss almost made me say fuck it and go buy a 12-pack but I didn't. 10 days baby. I can do it.

Big Brothers birthday is coming up and we're going to the Brewers v. Cubs game. We had otherwise been stumped on who was going to be the designated driver but I guess we know who that will be. Oh well. It's kind of interesting being sober. I've started noticing the funny ass things people say when they are drunk. I'm sure I've said funny ass shit before too but it's different being on the listening end now.

I couldn't help but overhear some people's conversations at G's bday dinner and this is some of things I heard. (oh, and virgin margaritas are just not the same without tequila. I don't care what anyone says. It's not supposed to taste like fruit!)

Conversation one

Drunk Girl to Drunk Guy: "Well, I guess I'll let you hit it later if you buy all my drinks tonight."

Drunk Guy to Drunk Girl: "I guess we can do that. But only as long as you don't get mad at me if I hit on other girls.

Drunk Girl to Drunk Guy: "OK. It's whatever."

Conversation two

Drunk Girl 1 to Drunk Girl 2: "I know this is a stupid question but how do you make the color red?"

Drunk Girl 2 to Drunk girl 1: "Are you serious? You mix blue and yellow."

Drunk Girl 1 to Drunk Girl 2: "Really? I don't know why but I was just thinking about that and I couldn't remember."

Drunk Girl 2 to Drunk Girl 1: "That's OK. I took extra art classes in high school so I remember."

(red is a primary color)

Conversation Three

Drunk Girl 3 to Drunk Girl 4: "So I hooked up with Dave last night."

Drunk Girl 4 to Drunk Girl 3: "Finally. I've been getting tired of hearing about how much you want to hook up with him. How was it?"

Drunk Girl 3 to Drunk Girl 4: "It was horrible. It was so small I barely felt anyting. I actually asked him if it was in and he got all offended. I didn't say this to him but Hey, it's not my fault if you have a little dick."

Drunk Girl 4 to Drunk Girl 3: "That sucks. What a waste of time. You obsessed about him forever."

Drunk Girl 3 to Drunk Girl 4: "I know, right?"

Drunk Girl 4 to Drunk Girl 3: "You should tell him to use Extenze. My brother says it really works."

Drunk Girl 3 to Drunk Girl 4: "How do you know that? Why would you and your brother talk about something like that?"

Drunk Girl 4 to Drunk Girl 3: "Um, it just came up once."

Drunk Girl 3 to Drunk Girl 4: "What kind of conversation were you having where something like that would come up?"

Drunk Girl 4 to Drunk Girl 3: "I don't remember but that's not the point. Just tell him that."

Drunk Girl 3 to Drunk Girl 4: "Sure. I'm going to tell some guy that I hooked up with that his package is small and that he should use Extanze because (Drunk Girl 4)'s brother used it and it worked so it's OK."

Drunk Girl 4 to Drunk Girl 3: "Yeah. I would."

Drunk Girl 3 to Drunk Girl 4: "Yeah. And that's why you're single."



  1. Ha ha haaaaaaaa!! Oh those drunken conversations. Hey, not drinking at the ballpark should be easy. I went to the Reds game on Sunday and spent $30 on four beers. Thirty dollars!!! WTF?

  2. Sobriety is no picnic, but then life isn't. But hang in there. Your recitations of the bar scene are wonderfully funny. Virgin Bloody mary's aren't bad, though.