Thursday, May 6, 2010

Not so itty bitty spider

It's Thursday afternoon and I have about 2 hours left of work. The day is going by just like any other crappy day. I'm on the phone with a customer when all of a sudden something shoots by me on my desk. I can't even believe how fast I moved out of my chair. It scared the shit out of me it moved so frickin fast. And of course its a gross ass black spider. One of those ones that jumps. I hate those. In all of the whole building, its just my luck that some nasty spider I'm allergic to has to run on my desk.

So of course every one's looking at me like the stupid freak who's scared of spiders. They can all get bent for all I care. I went to a friend's house once and he had recently moved in with this guy I had had a crush on for years. One thing led to another and I ended up sleeping over. He lived over his dad's bar and had a door to the back deck in his room. He had left the door open while we were getting it on because it was hot in there. I went home and got some extra sleep and woke up unable to breathe. My face, hands, and arms were swollen and I had hives everywhere. I went to the doctor and he told me that I was bitten by a spider and am allergic. Great! I've always been freaked out about the creepy crawlies, but my level of anxiety has reached recently new heights. I don't even know why. I'm almost positive it could have absolutely nothing to do with my years of experimenting with hallucinogenics. That's just crazy. All they do is alter your mind and make you see things that aren't there. How could that possibly make me scared of bugs??

So my doctor has put me on Valium because I get so anxious I start having panic attacks. Over bugs. I don't know why they exist. Could someone please shed some light on the necessity of pincer bugs in this world? What are their purpose except to freak out and piss people off??? I don't think they have one. Or at least there shouldn't be one.

All I know is I'm asking for a bug zapper for my birthday and I don't care how weird it's gonna look. I'm going to sit on my porch and enjoy the sound of the little assholes frying.

1 comment:

  1. You'd truly hate being at my home right now. I live in the sticks with wide open country and some woods and a nice hayfield. Spiders come scurrying in this time of year. Horrifying ones like wolf spiders and such. Luckily, my handy dandy Jack Russel makes it his business to protect me from these icky things.