Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

As long as I live I think men and women will never understand each other. We try of course but it is a losing battle. Frankly, I don’t understand people in general. Let me amend that… I don’t understand SOME people. And I don’t understand SOME men.

Especially the Ex.

I text him on my way home last night and we made plans to hang out today. I wanted to see him, but he had some friends over and I was tired, so no big deal right? Right.

I passed out around 1 and was dead asleep when my phone went off around 2:30. It was him and he wanted to come over. Even though I was sleeping, I told him the back door was open and to let himself in.

He showed up around 3:30 drunk. Again… no big deal. I got out of bed so that we could talk for a bit, but I was exhausted and ready to go back to sleep. He came in my room, strips, and laid down. Next thing I know, his mouth is wide open, he’s taking up more than half the bed and he is SNORING!!! I can handle a lot of stuff, but I don’t do snoring.

I was sleeping so well before he came over too.
I tried waking him up. I tried rolling him over.
I tried pinching his nose and mouth so he’d stop breathing and wake up. NOTHING!

I couldn’t get back to sleep, so I tried to sleep on the couch. The cat litter smelled and I was too lazy to clean it at 4 am, so I tried going back in my room. I turned the fan on and put a pillow on his face.

Silence finally! I kept thinking he was going to suffocate or something though. I weighed the pros and cons of risking it against getting some much needed sleep. I left the pillow on his face….

Just kidding! I’m not a total bitch. I moved the pillow so it was off his mouth and nose but still laying against his face blocking his noise a little. I finally slept. And then overslept. He was supposed to be at work at 9 am, and after realizing that I had been pressing the snooze button for over an hour, I realized that it was 8:50.

He never even heard the stupid alarm going off for an hour! And he had the audacity to look at me like, “why’d you press snooze so long!”

I have allergies and my head feels like it’s going to explode in the mornings. If he wouldn’t have come over I could have had at least 2-3 more hours of sleep, and I wouldn’t feel like castrating someone today.

Really? What was the point of this? I enjoy a good booty call just as much as the next person and I love the kid to death but come on! You’d have to have patience of steel not to roll him off the bed and let his comatose ass sleep on the floor! Am I right or am I right?

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