I have been on this whole "Zen" kick lately. It feels so much better to be happy instead of bitchy or angry at people. But there are just some times when no matter how hard you try, you just end up in a bad mood. My job is the main example.
I talk to people all day and I try to stay upbeat but some people are just rude, mean, and severely lacking in manners. Ever seen the movie 7 pounds with Will Smith? In the beginning he's on the phone with Woody Harrelson, who is a blind man working at a call center selling meat. Will completely goes off on him and insults him to no end. In my profession we are taught that the customer is not directly mad at us as people, but with the situation. But that is not always true. Some of the people are just plain mean and looking to make you feel bad about yourself. In these situations I really just want to snap out. WTF is wrong with these people?
Then I come into work today, almost late since I have the flu (thanks to my friends who were all sick and insisted they weren't contagious anymore) and almost slept through my alarm. There's a table set up with all of this food on it, and two big signs stating that it's two of the girls who work here's birthday, but you can only help yourself if you are invited to. This is literally what the signs say. I don't really give a crap because I brought lunch, but #1- How fricking rude and #2- the table is set up in the middle of the floor so I have to sit here, (all sick mind you) and smell the food they have over there. And some of it is pretty strong and rank.
I think I just need a new job or something. I had a panic attack the other day and I can't figure out why. My grandma has had them her whole life and I seriously don't want them. She has so much stress that she gets them quite frequently. I'm straight on that. So I'm starting the search now....
On another note, I hung out with the Ex this weekend and it was quite fun. It feels great that we can actually chill and be friends without all the fighting and jealousy involved. When we dated and weren't fighting we'd have the best times. We never run out of things to talk about and I've really missed that. We went to my girl G's birthday bar-b-Que and it was pretty chill and laid back. I spent a lot of time talking to Ex of course but he got along good with most of my friends which is cool. And if you're wondering if there are any sparks there.... I can report that of course there are. There always will be. But I don't want a relationship with anyone. So we're both happy just being friends. I'm sure I'll marry him in like 10 years but until then...