This is going to be a weird one but whatever. I keep starting these posts and then getting sidetracked so they’re only half completed. I’m just going to throw them together. Deal with it.
People are trying to cop my Wank Wank! What the hell is this? When I first started saying this, people thought that I was crazy.
"That's from two years ago Lush"
"I don't care, I'm bringing it back!"
And now that it's caught on, EVERYONE is saying it. Holy mother fucking cow. I know I am the shit and all but I have never been the one that people want to talk like. I mean, have you read my posts? Completely out of my mind, and sane people should know this.
Again, I can't claim Patton on this or anything, but this is a word that I have started using all the time. And now other people have started saying it. Ever seen Clerks II? I'm bringing it back!
I met a hottie... and OMG... I actually like him. Don't bust a nut it's not as exciting as all that but I will get to it in a second.
First off. Went to meet up with an old friend the other night for a drink. Let's call her Rican. Cause that's what she is. Haven't seen her in forever because she and Robbie have bad history. Being in the same room with them at the same time is as comfortable as waking up next to a random and not remembering their name.
I usually give guys a fake name when they hit on me.. You know, got to spice things up a little bit. Which I believe all girls do at one time or another. This particular evening I went with Martha and introduced Ghetto (well, I had called her something else but it’s too easy to guess so I’m going to change it up) as Patricia. No offense to anyone who might be named Martha or Patricia but they are names usually given to babies back in the day. I think that shit’s funnier than say, Jessica or Brittany. It’s gotta be funny people.
If you haven’t guessed, yes I scared them off like I do all guys I can’t stand talking to. OK, back to my point… Wait, what was my point? Damn, I’m rambling I need a Ritalin…
(30 minutes later) OK under control. Back to our regular scheduled program…..
So like I said... I met a hottie... But it's not as exciting as all that, let me explain.
Originally, I thought he (I had the hardest time coming up with a name for him so for now we'll call him D) was someone else when I first spotted him in the club. I guess I’ve known him since whenever when but for the life of me I can’t remember. Alcohol does that to you kids. Just Say No!
Boy was looking good so I told the girls I was gonna Mack. Poor guy must think I’m nuts. First came the flirting and initial attraction. Then I decided he just had to come home with us which ended up turning into a big fight between me and Robbie. Why? Because there wasn't enough room in the car and instead of listening to her when she said she'd drop people off and come back, I thought she was hating! Being the gentleman that he is, D overlooked the screams and the tears and got us to the crib. You can guess what happened next.
Now when I say “I like him,” I am referring to the fact that I wouldn’t mind hanging out again. Not like “OMG I totally have a crush” kill me now “like.” I know how bored I get so let’s not get all excited here. It’s always fun to meet new people though, don’t ya think?
**Oh, and side note.. I mentioned that I was writing about him on here and when I saw him last night he pulled out his Iphone and showed me he'd checked it out. On one hand, that's kind of sweet right? On another, now I can't write bad things about him on here right? Just kidding. I would never do anything like that.