Thursday, May 28, 2009


*Day two of the contact on my windshield. I’m going to wait and see how long it takes to fall off. I know it’s just the most random thing ever.

Speaking of random…. I went out to SP last night to watch Robbie’s co-workers play volleyball at the bowling alley. (Yeah, we do that in WI) It was actually pretty fun except for the fact that my Ex from like 7 years ago was there with the girl he cheated on me with. She looks the same and he’s gained like 60 pounds! How random is it that after all these years, I run into them at a small town bowling alley of all places? I didn’t say hi of course. That wouldn’t have been fun. Instead I made sure to remain amazingly funny all night, had a blast, and completely ignored their presence. I mean, it’s not like we like each other or anything.

Then I met up with Louie and went out to a bar in Madison. We met this girl named Kelly and as we’re talking to her this creepy old ass guy walks up and starts hitting on her. When I say old I mean old. Like 60 or 70 years old. RANDOM! I asked her if she knew him and she had no idea. Louie of course stood up for her and this is what happened:

L: I’m sorry but do you know her?
Creepy: No (Opens his mouth and grins with these bigger than ever yellow dentures)
Then why are you talking to her? I don’t mean to be rude but do you mind?

At this point I stopped listening because I knew Louie could handle the situation. Creepy wanted a confrontation though and started getting in her face. I could not believe this. This old ass dude. I was not having this, especially after he fell into me.

Me: Excuse me! My friend asked you nicely to leave her alone. Are you deficient?
Creepy: You can’t talk to me like that I own this bar
Me: I don’t give an F*CK! Don’t talk to her like that
Creepy: I’m going to throw you guys out
Me: Who cares?
Creepy: Shut up fatty! (At this point I about punched this guy in the face. Senior citizen or not this guy almost got decked)
Me: Are you serious? You smell old. We can smell the formaldehyde coming out of your pores! If you don’t get out of my face…..

Then I was dragged away by Louie and like 2 guys because she knew shit was about to hit the fan. How random was that? This guy was like holding on to his AARP card and hitting on 20 years olds! I seriously thought I had seen it all.

And for the record: he didn’t own the place. He was just some creepy drunk. RANDOM!


  1. old guys at bars that hit on chicks creep me out too. I bring my grandpa to the bars w/ me, but my friends hit on him, not the other way around...they must think he's a rich widow LOL

  2. Nothing better than an ex getting fat.