Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Leaving the ghetto

God I'm lame. Well let me amend that because obviously the universe is rocking with that obviously false statement.

I mentioned a long time ago on here how i don't have a windshield wiper or signal thingie on my steering wheel do to a stupid fight between me and the Ex one drunken night. So in order to get them to work, my brother had to jury rig my steering wheel so I could at least move the little piece up and down every time I wanted to turn the signal on. (and trust me, the little piece is tiny and you can't see it while you're driving so I've had to get used to feeling it out without looking)

The wipers are even worse. Every time I want to turn them on I have to stop my car, get out, and pit the fuse in. Or stop my car and take the fuse out to turn them off.

Yes. I am very aware of how ghetto this is. My car has looked like someone tried to steal it for so long I don't even notice it anymore.

But I was finally able to score the necessary parts to get it fixed without paying out my ass at a shop and I AM ECSTATIC.

I know that sounds lame but seriously. You try driving around ghetto-fied for a year and tell me how ecstatic you'd be! Ugghh... *jumping up and down here*

I even asked my mom to buy me a new steering column for Christmas it is so annoying.
I got a gym membership. (which I love don't get me wrong, but not what I asked for)

Monday, April 27, 2009

The captain has left the building

Everyone has that one alcohol that no matter how many times they drink it something happens. I actually have a few of those as I'm an emotional person and tend to take things to the extreme. Naturally.

My kryptonite used to be vodka. People actually refused to hang out with me while I was drinking vodka because it seemed anyone in the vicinity ended up with collateral damage. I can handle vodka now. Mostly. A few incidents here and there but nothing major.

During my most wild days, Kammie and I used to guzzle Captain by the bottle. A piece. I love a girl who can keep up with me. But unfortunately the Captain seems to be too much for me and has now crossed over into kryptonite status. Truthfully I guess anything you consume in excess could be labeled in that category.

captain morgan Pictures, Images and Photos

Case in point: Saturday afternoon... Mccants, Acker and I got a bottle of Captain and decided to have a few drinks. Which turned into the whole bottle. Which turned into me crying, bitching, laughing, and any other possible emotion.

I really hate it when I act like an ass. I even woke up drunk. Good times. The bad part about the whole thing is the traveling. I decided to relocate to Robbie's who had guests. Nothing like telling off a bunch of people for being at your best friends house that they need to leave cause they, and I quote, "are maxing on my bestie time. So step off." I'm special. I never matured past first grade.

I think I'm going to stick with Leinie's for awhile. Especially when I'm associating with the general public.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Me and Tiny Tim

I am sick again. If you didn't get that the first time please let me repeat it for you. I AM SICK AGAIN.

Seriously. We took my niece to the zoo this weekend and she caught something from some kid at her daycare. Now her, my brother, his fiance and me are all sick. I don't know how I think I'm going to be a teacher when I can't even be around my own niece without getting germs. And you know kids are carriers for anything and everything you could possibly ever get. That's just asking for it right there.

I'm just so shocked because I just got done being sick and now here we are again. People at work keep asking me what's wrong and I hesitate to even tell them. I think I've caught an eye roll of two out of a couple of them when I tell them I am sick again. Like it's my fault. Sometimes I feel like one of those sickly kids who always have some sort of problem because their mom couldn't lay off the sauce while she was preggo.

Or Tiny Tim. Isn't he the little boy who was always on the brink of death or something? And it's always something weird with me too you know? First my gall bladder(and who the heck gets their gall bladder taken out at 24), a spider bite where I become allergic to spiders, a broken toe/foot/ass.. whatever. If it's something that can be broken I am sure I'll eventually break it.


I am going home and swallowing a bottle of NyQuil, drinking some soup, swallowing some vitamins and going to sleep. I WILL GET RID OF THIS! Being sick is NOT HOT!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

If only I had my own zoo

I'm taking the Pickle to the zoo this weekend and I can not wait. She's at that age where everything is amazing to her. Everytime she sees something, she points and says, "what's that?" all cute in this little voice. It's so precious.

The only thing I really hate about the zoo is the insects. Really. Who needs to have insects on display? It's bad enough they exist and I have to deal with them in real life. At the zoo here in Madison some smart ass has decided that cockroaches are educational. So every time I go to the zoo, planning on enjoying myself, I end up having to look at these huge DISGUSTING cockroaches.

Even if I try to avoid them, everyone knows of my disdain for bugs and finds it hilarious to point them out. And it's not like I can NOT look. They're huge!

Who came up with this? I was talking to a customer today and mentioned this to him. He lives in California where cockroaches are most likely not sparse and thought it was funny that the zoo in Madison has cockroaches on display. His words: "that's like putting the common house fly on display." I agree. (and not even because he sounded SUPER cute and flirted with me for 20 minutes. Too bad he lives in California..*sigh*)

If I had my own zoo, hmmm there's a future goal, I would make sure there was not bugs on display. If someone wants to look at a bug they can go outside or look it up in a book. I don't know why anyone would want to look at big African cockroaches anyway. That's just nasty.

Leaving the Kids at home

Wow. I was just reading over my last post and all I have to say is WOW. I have a little bit of a temper don't I? Ha! You really have no idea.

I'm a little annoyed with myself though this morning. Why do I even let him get to me anymore? I say I'm over it but I'm obviously still harboring some anger towards him. But it really isn't that. Yes he did me wrong but so what? He's young and a boy. That's really just a given. When I met him I knew this about him so it was really not a big deal. So why do I let it get to me?

Here's why: I absolutely CAN NOT stand it that he thinks he's so cool. It just really grates my nerves. I know I should not care and most of the time I really don't but seriously! DO NOT go around telling people not to tell me that you've talked. I COULD CARE LESS. If I wanted to go talk to him I could. He works down the street from me. I have not tried to contact him once since we ended it for good. Get the Hell over yourself dude.

On a better note: I got a text from that guy that we met in Milwaukee at the Brewers game. He has invited me down to Chicago for dinner and drinks and I think I am going to take him up on it. I am so tired of the LITTLE BOYS around me. I think I need a little adult time.

Play time is F-ing over!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Losers and their audacity

OK. I am going to apologize ahead of time because this post is going to be a bitch the fuck out post! Seriously! I am almost irate.

So I was watching some show tonight and decided to text Danny. That's the Ex's ex girlfriend. Her and I are actually really cool and she's coming up here this summer to party for a couple of days. I sent her a message and told her how I had messaged the Ex the other day letting him know about his cat and to ask if he could take my pictures of me off his Myspace. I've asked him this numerous times and still they are on there. There are no pictures of his girl. Just pictures of me. I am not even his friend on there anymore. I deleted his ass as soon as I regained brain function.

But I was feeling nice the other day and sent him a very nice message. Truthfully. I was nice. But now I am pissed. He specifically told her not to tell me that he had text her. LIKE I FRICKING CARE!!

What makes me so mad is that not once have I tried to contact him. I haven't wanted to. He's moved on and he's with his dirty hoe. Cool beans. Have a nice life. Peace the fuck out.

But don't go around telling people NOT to tell me that you've talked. Like I'm going to stalk him or something??? He's the one who asks about me when my family runs into him at his place of employment.... McDonald's. Yeah buddy.

I have moved on. Lost weight. Had a few one night stands and broken a few hearts. Got contacts and joined the Gym. Went back to school and am getting A's. Does that sound like a person hung up over a little boy?

NO! I know I shouldn't even get angry about this but it pisses me off. Like I'm sitting around pining for him or something. This was his problem while we were dating. He had such a high opinion of himself that he did whatever he wanted. YOU MEAN FUCKING SHIT TO ME DUDE. Take your attitude and go fuck your nasty trailer trash girlfriend.

.... That's all I'm going to say about that. This just goes to show... don't ever let your guard down. Once a loser, always a loser.

That's my new motto and I'm sticking to it.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Barbie and Ken

So you know the age old question: do blonds really have more fun?

I was having a talk with Acker this weekend and she brought up the fact that the blond waitresses at her work seem to get more tips than her even though they have zero personality.

So is it their hair that is the appeal? I have blond hair and I can personally say that there are perks to being blond, but there are also stereotypes that are associated with blonds as well. We've all heard or personally referred to a blond as a ditz because of the color of her hair. I have even made fun of myself before saying things like, "wow, I am really blond today," or "duh duh duh.. the blond is popping out!"

The bad thing about this though is that not all blonds are ditsy or stupid; I am going to school to be a teacher. I can be a little flighty sometimes but that's just me. It does not refer in any way to my hair color.

Like I said there can be perks that come with the color of your hair. Some people just love blonds. Friday I went to the Brewers game in Milwaukee with Escamilla. I don't even like baseball that much but I enjoy any place that is filled with drunk people having a great time. And that's exactly how it turned out. I was even doing beer bongs in the parking lot and shots of Jack. (yes, I was faded on the way home.) The Brewers won and it was super fun to cheer them on. Best game I've ever been to.

While we were walking to Friday's in the stadium, some guy did a double take. Double take: when someone looks at you and then looks again cause they can't believe how hot you are. It was funny. Haven't had that happened in quite awhile. Makes a girl feel pretty good. (oh, and did I mention all the supremely HOT guys at the game? Forget the bar, sporting events are THE place to meet hotties. We even met these guys who took us out to dinner in the penthouse bar at the Hyatt.)

Moral of the story: It really isn't the color of your hair that makes you a fun person. For guys that think that, let them have their boring time with Barbie. You don't want a Ken doll anyway.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Crazy is as crazy does

Well Bad Girls has reached an all time status of: out of control. Or maybe it just seems that way because I've been so chill lately. It used to be that if there was craziness it just meant it was another day ending in Y.

What started out to be a kind of dull night ended up becoming one of the all time craziest Bad Girls ever. Well, maybe not crazy like do a bunch of beer bongs and hook up with a random dude crazy. Hey, I'm not talking about me here. I would NEVER do anything like that... (that's my story and I'm sticking to it) But crazy like being in the mental hospital from 12 Monkeys crazy.

First we started off with a little innocent trip downtown to my friend Mouth's. That's obviously not his real name but I'm going to call him that because he has such a smart ass mouth. If you're reading this I told you I was going to call you out on here. Shouldn't be such a little smart ass should ya?

Anywho, that ended up moving us around to a couple of different places until we all ended back up at the Crib. I know we were not that loud, or at least not as loud as were usually are. And there was only like 7 people there so no big deal right?

Well it probably wouldn't have been if drama hadn't popped off. After I went to bed, I was awoken by screaming coming from my roomies room. Now Kammie is my Ride or Die and I love her to death, but I seriously gotta shake my head sometimes. She was laying down with one of our friends, just laying down mind you, when her boyfriend decided to stop over at 5 am and try to climb in her window.

Hold up. Let's just count the things that are wrong with this picture:

1. she told him not to come over and she wasn't home so why is he just stopping by like he owns the place?
2. why isn't her window locked knowing that he does this kind of crap (trust me, not the first time we've caught him outside. creepy? I agree)
3. boy definitely needs to learn some boundaries
4. after he opens the window and flips out, he stands outside screaming at her and then our friend who was laying there starts fighting with him

If this isn't bad enough, our upstairs neighbor who already hates us comes stomping down the stairs, pounds on our door and starts screaming at Kammie. Here's a little replay:

Kammie: I'm so sorry
bitchy lady from upstairs: i have a 5 year old and you woke him up
Kammie (high as hell): i know I'm so sorry
bitchy lady from upstairs: i tolerate a lot from you guys but this is out of control
Kammie (still messed up): i know I'm so sorry someone just came screaming at our window
bitchy lady from upstairs: uugghh! (stomps away and all the way upstairs)

While all of this is going on I'm laying in my bed like WTF. I just fell asleep, i have PMS, and now I'm PISSED. I woke up and went in her room and almost climbed through the window at him. He ran away of course.

So now not only is my house an asylum for drunks and debauchery galore, we have now crossed over into "the neighbors everyone hates!" Great, now I can't even get my mail when people are around. They think this is bad they are REALLY going to hate us this summer! Poor people. I almost feel bad for them. Maybe they'll move away. Here's hoping.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Clearing away the cobwebs

Holy fricking cow am I sore. Muscles I didn't even know I had are screaming at me. And it feels amazing. You know those people that are addicted to the gym and are there every night? Yeah, that's going to be me.

After work last night I had plans to go to the gym with Robbie and Kammie but ended up having to deal with some drama first. I got so upset that I was just going to get drunk and say F it. Robbie talked me out of it though and I am so glad that she did. I felt much better working out my frustration on the elliptical than sitting around getting wasted and stewing about it.

Robbie and I have a goal that we're going to lose 20 pounds by July. I've already lost 30 since last year so that means I would have lost 50 fricking pounds. Ahhhh. Feels nice. And I didn't even have to go on Biggest Loser to do it.

I know I've probably talked about the fitness thing before but I can't help it. It feels great to be all healthy. Wow. This is what sober people are always talking about. Ha. I always wondered but was usually to drunk to figure it out.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Somethings Gotta Give

Blah! That is all I have to say about that. A couple of months ago I got into this funk like I was waiting for something to happen, and I feel like that now. Things with some of my girls have been kind of strained, I am no longer talking to Louie and her new boyfriend Leo, I barely party anymore because I've been so focused on school and working out, and I just feel like BLAH!

I guess what i'm saying is i'm BORED. The guy that I told ya about, Mammoth, he is still around and such a sweetie. Holding on even though i'm super busy and have no time to hang out with him. I wish that I was more excited about him but I'm not yet and won't allow myself to be. But other than that, nothing. I even completed all of my assignments for this week for school. And it's monday. Lame.

I think I need to shake things up because they just got really dull. I don't do dull. I'm a Cancer. We get restless. Or maybe that's my ADD. Whatever.
Something has got to give.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

A night with the Besties

I went on a date last night with my girls, or as we like to call ourselves, the Primary Colors. ( background here: Robbie, Kammie, and I have been best friends for years and no matter who else comes into our lives, its always going to be us three. Primary colors: red, blue, and yellow) The three of us haven't gone out alone in a long time so we made a date last night and went out for appetizers, cocktails, and then bar hopping.

Nothing too crazy happened. We ditched some annoying guys, drank lots and lots of shots, bounced up on it, ate Taco Bell and then passed out. Typical night.

What is it about drinking that makes it impossible to say no to Taco Bell? Over the last couple of months, I've almost completely stopped eating fast food, fried foods,and mostly anything not healthy like chips and cookies. I've lost 30 pounds and am still going. Yes I know. Very happy about this. Working out has been helping but most of this weight was dropped by just changing my diet.

But whenever i'm out with the girls and we're drunk, if someone mentions Taco Bell, it's almost impossible to say no. I woke up with a headache but wasn't too hungover. So I guess it has some merit. Too bad we don't live in a world where Taco Bell has no calories or fat.

Now that's something to dream about.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

I'm lovin' it!

As I was sitting here at work, tired as hell after a night of Bad Girls, I just realized the the Exe's birthday has passed and I didn't even notice. I guess that's one way to know you are finally over someone. Truthfully, yes I will always hate him in a way for how he treated me but I believe he is EXACTLY where he needs to be. And that's working at McDonald's and living with HER, which is probably the same place he'll be in ten years.

Now that's what I call Karma!

Speaking of Karma, as I said, Bad Girls went out with a BANG last night! Even though Acker ditched us to go to the bar with Louie's shady ass, (don't ask it's just lame drama) Robbie, Kammie, and I had a fantastic time which included going to the strip club and seeing some beautiful ladies do their thing, Taco Bell where I actually got served, and a celebratory beer bong that knocked me on my ass.

Good times.