Sunday, January 25, 2009

And the beat goes on and on and on

i love full house Pictures, Images and Photos HIDEY HOE RANGER JOE! Remember that from Full house? Classic!

Well, I'm back at work after a 2 week leave and it feels super weird. On one hand it's good to be back in the real world, off of my couch. But on the other hand, I'm still healing and feel like maybe I should have taken a little more time. I've used 72 hours of my PTO for this surgery and it's only January. I really can't afford to use any more so here I am.

I've been staying at Robbie's for most of the last week. At first, so she could take care of me, and then because I didn't want to go home and see Kammie and C. Kammie did apologize to me for yelling at me the other day, which I appreciate, but it still doesn't fix everything. First of all, as I've said before, I really wish they would keep me out of their drama. I have asked them both repeatedly and am still dragged into the bullshit. C is pretty much all drama, so if I have to completely ignore him in order to avoid all this, then that's what I have to do.

On another note, I think I may be almost ready to start dating. I was thinking about couples this morning and actually missed the Ex for about a half a minute. But then I remembered what a loser he is, and how he treated me, and then I realized I don't miss him. What I do miss is having someone there for me. When things were good between us, it was great having someone there to talk to, and sleep next to, and cuddle with. And we used to have a lot of fun together too. But obviously there was a lot of bad times too and he was a liar and a cheater and so obviously I would never go back there.

Robbie and my other girls are great to hang with and we have a lot of fun, but I really miss having someone to go home to at night. The unfortunate thing about it is, I hate dating. I hate getting to know someone and then finding out that they aren't good enough, or you don't click, or you're not compatible in bed, or he's the same as the last guys you've dated. And then you have to start all over again. It's so depressing.

But I just might be ready to tackle it finally. I'm starting to move past all of the hate I have in my heart for the Ex and what he did to me. It's a new year. It's time for a fresh start. And I'll never find anything good if I'm always looking for the bad right? I just have to be a little more smart and not rush into anything just because I get lonely sometimes.

I can't wait to be all healed. Then I can work out again. It'll be spring soon. Perfect time to lose a few pounds, get some cute new clothes, and get back on the horse.

Cheers to looking ahead.

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