Well, I finally was able to get the truth about the situation with the Ex last night. Now, as this is my blog, and I am using this to be completely honest, I will share this even though I'm not exactly proud of everything I've done.
That being said, here goes. So last night the Ex called me and wanted to hang out. He said his car didn't have any gas and he wanted me to pick him up. Now, I'm not stupid so of course red flags were going up here right away. But I picked him up anyways because I knew we needed to talk.
He was very quiet and I knew he was upset about something, but I just kept quiet and waited for him to tell me himself. He ended up not needing to though because my phone rang, bringing me lots of news.
The call came up private, and when I said hello no one said anything back. I looked at the Ex across the couch and just knew this had to be about him. So I said into the phone, I don't know who this is but yes the Ex is here and hung up.
A few minutes later it rang again private but this time she decided to talk. It turned out to be the girl I can't stand, that he claimed he was just friends with while we were dating and who he had had a previous relationship with years before. We'll call her L. When me and him were ending things, he started spending a lot of time with this girl. He told me that he knew she was in love with him but he had been very clear that he just wanted to be friends and that he still loved me. Again with the not stupid, but what could I do? It wasn't like we were together or anything.
So during this call she proceeded to tell me that they have been dating for a little while and that he was sort of staying with her at her place. Also, the car that he has, is in her name.
After my initial shock, which wasn't very large I must admit because I was pretty sure his silence had something to do with something like this. I decided to tell her that no, I was not aware of this and that she should know he had come over the week before and we hooked up, and he was there right now. I did tell her though that I was mad at him for lying to me but I did not feel bad about it on her end. She has done this same thing to me as well as to other women and as far as I'm concerned it's about time she got a little taste of her own medicine. Then I hung up.
Okay, then the conversation with the Ex. At first he thought I was going to yell but I was very proud of myself for keeping calm and having a adult conversation about this. He did admit that after I stopped calling, he did decide to try a relationship with her again. Which if you think about it, I can not be mad about as he was single and had every right to date whoever he wanted and obviously things with us were far from perfect. I can't get mad at him for trying to be happy with someone else. But of course I can be mad that he lied to me about it.
So then he says that all of a sudden I called him and he had been thinking about me all the time so he came over to talk. He says he wasn't prepared for everything with us to actually be good and he was really surprised at how happy I was to see him. I guess things between them are not good and all they do is argue. So things progressed from there. Of course, he should have been honest with me in the first place and told me the truth. But this is how our relationship has always been. He would think that I'd get mad about something so instead of trusting me, he would lie. Definitely one of the reasons it never worked out with us.
So all in all this is where things lie. She is now aware of his infidelity and as to where they go from here, I don't know. I did ask him and he said he wasn't sure. He told her in the beginning that he'd try dating her again but if it didn't work out then he was done.
One thing I tried to make perfectly clear to him is that I can never trust him. Yes, I'm mad that he lied to me. Yes, I'm mad he used me to cheat on someone else and make me the OTHER WOMAN. But of course yes I still love him. I always will. But as they say, once a cheater always a cheater.
Now, I do feel a little bad because I have never knowingly hooked up with a guy who had a girlfriend, and it really bothers me that i'm now in that category. But then there's a part of me that does not feel bad at all. When me and him were together, this girl tried as hard as she could to get with him, not caring how I would feel. When I did confront her about this before, all she had to say to me was "too bad, you're stupid if you think he won't cheat on you with me." I know she's 19 and very immature but I couldn't help but think how sad and ignorant this girl is. And what a disgrace to women everywhere. If she thinks it's funny to steal another girl's man, then I really hope she's getting a rude awakening right now. It does not feel good to be cheated on and you should never, no matter if you like a person or not, wish such a horrible thing on someone. Even though I didn't know he had a girlfriend, and I really really dislike this girl, apart of me feels bad for her.
A very small, itsy bitsy part that is.
So where do I go from here? You know what? Nowhere. I am not going to dwell on this. I really do feel it's really sad though that as the victims in this story, there has to be such animosity between her and me instead of with him, but I guess that's just how some women are.
And as to him and me, as I said I'll never trust him again so of course getting back together is completely out of the question, but you know what? That's OK with me. The gloves have finally come off and I'm OK with that.