Sunday, December 14, 2008

Just a little bit Crazy

I went to my first therapy appointment on Friday. I have some mixed feelings about this. On one hand, I really think this could be good for me. Talking to another person who has experience with some of my issues. Maybe even getting help resolving them so I can move on. I really hope so. But on the other hand, after I left her office, all I wanted to do was get drunk. I hate talking about my dysfunctional family, and my drinking, and how my past BFs treated me like crap and left me, and how the only reason I ever dated these horrible guys in the first place is cause I have abandonment issues and I latch on even when I know it's not good for me. I hate that. It feels like I'm whining and just puts me in a crappy mood. But overall, I guess I'm going to keep going and see what happens. I'll just have to make sure I have beer in the fridge for afterwards.

One thing she kept asking me about was how I feel about guys now and I kind of surprised myself at the lack of emotion I feel. She asked me how I feel right now, and my answer was, "Nothing." And it's true. I feel absolutely nothing. I'm not interested in dating. I'm not interested in a relationship. I'm not even interested in checking out guys at the bar. This is amazing to me because I've always had a really healthy sexual appetite, but now there's nothing. I guess that will go away with time, hopefully, but in the mean time, I'm an icicle.

Anywho, For new years, I was looking up the price of the tickets to the party we want to go to and got a big shock. It's $130 per person, not including a room. But they do have a package, where you get two tickets and a room for $400. So if we all throw down on two rooms and 4 extra tickets, it's only going to be $165 per person. "Robbie" is super siked to go and is even going to skip Christmas presents to pay for it. She's so funny. But hey, I guess we all really want to get out of this town and have a blast. It's a really nice party too, at the Congress Hotel in Chicago. So of course they have a dress code, which sucks, because I really don't feel like being stuck in a dress all night. I was planning on wearing jeans. Dammit. But I guess it's worth it to see DJ Infinity. I was worried that I would be going with all couples and be stuck without anyone to kiss at midnight, but "Kammie's" not bringing C, and we're also bringing Katy and Mitch I think so all in all there will only be two couples there. Things could actually work out.


  1. It might not feel like it right now, but keep going to your appointments. I think eventually they will help.

  2. Sounds exactly like my first therapy session! Not to mention my crazy ass family....and my feelings about men....sort of felt like I was reading my life...:-)

    Sometimes I wonder if drinking would be just as helpful.....