Sunday, December 14, 2008

Just a little bit Crazy

I went to my first therapy appointment on Friday. I have some mixed feelings about this. On one hand, I really think this could be good for me. Talking to another person who has experience with some of my issues. Maybe even getting help resolving them so I can move on. I really hope so. But on the other hand, after I left her office, all I wanted to do was get drunk. I hate talking about my dysfunctional family, and my drinking, and how my past BFs treated me like crap and left me, and how the only reason I ever dated these horrible guys in the first place is cause I have abandonment issues and I latch on even when I know it's not good for me. I hate that. It feels like I'm whining and just puts me in a crappy mood. But overall, I guess I'm going to keep going and see what happens. I'll just have to make sure I have beer in the fridge for afterwards.

One thing she kept asking me about was how I feel about guys now and I kind of surprised myself at the lack of emotion I feel. She asked me how I feel right now, and my answer was, "Nothing." And it's true. I feel absolutely nothing. I'm not interested in dating. I'm not interested in a relationship. I'm not even interested in checking out guys at the bar. This is amazing to me because I've always had a really healthy sexual appetite, but now there's nothing. I guess that will go away with time, hopefully, but in the mean time, I'm an icicle.

Anywho, For new years, I was looking up the price of the tickets to the party we want to go to and got a big shock. It's $130 per person, not including a room. But they do have a package, where you get two tickets and a room for $400. So if we all throw down on two rooms and 4 extra tickets, it's only going to be $165 per person. "Robbie" is super siked to go and is even going to skip Christmas presents to pay for it. She's so funny. But hey, I guess we all really want to get out of this town and have a blast. It's a really nice party too, at the Congress Hotel in Chicago. So of course they have a dress code, which sucks, because I really don't feel like being stuck in a dress all night. I was planning on wearing jeans. Dammit. But I guess it's worth it to see DJ Infinity. I was worried that I would be going with all couples and be stuck without anyone to kiss at midnight, but "Kammie's" not bringing C, and we're also bringing Katy and Mitch I think so all in all there will only be two couples there. Things could actually work out.

2 comments:

  1. It might not feel like it right now, but keep going to your appointments. I think eventually they will help.

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  2. Sounds exactly like my first therapy session! Not to mention my crazy ass family....and my feelings about men....sort of felt like I was reading my life...:-)

    Sometimes I wonder if drinking would be just as helpful.....

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