Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Scaredy Cat

OK, so Friday night I was sitting at home waiting for "Robbie" and K to get done with dinner. I got bored so I told R he could stop over. I'm not sure what his intentions are but at one point I went to get a beer and he cornered me in the kitchen, tried to kiss me up against the wall. I played it off like, WTF, but it still weirded me out. Then "Robbie" and K came over and R was all over me like white on rice. Hmmmm. We were leaving so he left but made me promise to call him later. I didn't and of course he ended up calling me. I don't know what the deal there is. He's probably just looking to score and I'm just not interested in that right now. The only person I'm even attracted to in that way is the Ex and it would obviously be bad for my health to go down that route.

I'm sure it's just going to take some time before I am interested in anyone again. Or maybe it's just that there isn't anyone around me right now who is interesting. When I first met the Ex, i actually did not care for him at all. We had nothing in common and he was the total opposite from me. After seeing him around a lot though, there was obviously some sexual tension that we could not deny. There is no sexual tension between me and R, at least not on my side. Maybe if I spent some more time with him, instead of shying away from everyone who asks me out, then it would just come. But I feel like it's being forced.

After my last experiences, I don't see anything wrong with being picky. And to try to raise my standards and take my time. I really don't think I can put myself out there again and be hurt this bad. It's really not worth it. I like myself too much for that.

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