Sunday, October 19, 2008

Taking it slow

Last night me and the girlz went to the opening of the Tilted Kilt. A friend of ours is the manager and got us tickets, which included drinks, a free meal and dessert. The restaurant is pretty much an Irish version of Hooters, but hey, it was a free meal and an excuse to get out with the girlz. No complaining on my part. The service was lousy, we didn't get our food for almost two hours, but we had fun anyway. The food was actually pretty good but staring at other women's breasts for two and a half hours started to lose its appeal after the first half hour.

Maybe if I was a man, I might have enjoyed the Irish Britney Spears outfits they are forced to wear as a uniform, but truthfully, I don't understand how they can run around in those outfits for hours at a time serving hot food. That's a disaster waiting to happen. "Oh my god my boob is on fire." Ha Ha.

On another note, I'm supposed to be having dinner at Lemons house tonight. Well, I haven't heard from him so maybe not, but I'm kind of glad. I'm not ready. If it was just to go hang out with a friend, then I would be OK with that. But he seems to think that this would be a date and I AM JUST NOT READY.

Just the thought of going on a date is making me nauseous. For one, it's not fair to get his hopes up when i am in love with someone else and am still secretly waiting for him to wake up and come back to me. Maybe it would be OK if i could use this as a distraction in the mean time but I'm not even ready for that. I can not get the Ex out of my head no matter how i try.

I've finally come to the point where I can exist everyday without wanting to pick up the phone and call him. I'm finally to the point where I am standing up for myself and being comfortable not accepting just the scraps of his time that he reserves for me.

But that's about it right there. Too much more too soon i fear will put me into a deeper depression than i already am. I really just can not handle anymore rejection right now. And even if it wasn't rejection, i am in no way in a place where i would be good for anyone else right now.

Its weird because another friend i haven't seen in a long time asked me if i wanted to have lunch today with him. As to his intentions I'm not sure, but i have to work so it was easy getting out of that one. Whew!

Its flattering being asked out, don't get me wrong. But I'm just not ready yet.

In the meantime I have my girlz. If it wasn't for them I would be a complete mess. So thanks girls, I love you... Or in other words, Ride or Die Bitches!

1 comment:

  1. It's funny because I think I might be ready, but nobody is asking me out or showing any interest whatsoever. I don't even have anyone I'm interested in. Kind of pathetic.