Monday, October 20, 2008

Rain Rain go away

I'm having a gloomy day. I was in the worst mood last night when I got home from work so I sat in front of the TV and vegged out until 1 am. I still don't feel much better today.

What's the problem you may ask? The problem is I miss the Ex. I have his voicemails on my phone and I hate to admit it but Ive listened to them a couple of times and they make me feel like crap. I should just erase them but I haven't heard his voice in so long and I miss it.

I want to call him so bad but I know I shouldn't. I mean what's the point? We are in different places right now and no matter what I say to him, its not going to do any good. It's just delaying the obvious conclusion that it's over; we are over.

It's what he wants right now and me secretly hoping that he'll wake up and change his mind, is not healthy for either of us. I know this. But yet I still want to call him.

And I feel horrible because I WANT to call him. I was doing so much better the last few weeks; and I was so proud of myself because of it. But I don't feel proud of myself today.

I'm allowing myself one day to feel this way and then tomorrow I'm putting it away. No more feeling sorry for myself because really, what good does it do?

3 comments:

  1. 1. Go a little easier on yourself. we all have a hard time with ended relationships. 4 years or 2 months, I STILL mourn for the loss of what could have been. But remember your feelings are YOUR feelings and they are never wrong!

    2. I feel better when i write things down. Write what you miss AND don't miss about him. then look at your best friend and imagine what life would be like wihtout them. Focus on all the goof things they offer you.

    3. Look in the mirror - turn on a sad song and let the tears go. THEN .... put on a mad song andf belt out those feelings.

    even if you do NONE of what i suggested... at least take a moment to look into your own eyes and remember just how wonderful YOU are and i am sure that SOMEONE is missing you.

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  2. There will be days that you miss him, but if they are mixed in with good days where you feel confident about moving on, that's progress. I usually feel like I'm doing pretty good these days... then suddenly I'll miss my ex like crazy and want to talk to him so bad. But we'll get there right?

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  3. Well if you've been reading my blog lately you know that I'm in no position to critsize anyone for wollowing in self pity! You are right to not beat yourself up. We all deserve gloomy days because it's part of the healing process. As long as those moments don't overtake everything you'll be find. I'm sure you'll find your smile again soon!

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