I'm having a gloomy day. I was in the worst mood last night when I got home from work so I sat in front of the TV and vegged out until 1 am. I still don't feel much better today.
What's the problem you may ask? The problem is I miss the Ex. I have his voicemails on my phone and I hate to admit it but Ive listened to them a couple of times and they make me feel like crap. I should just erase them but I haven't heard his voice in so long and I miss it.
I want to call him so bad but I know I shouldn't. I mean what's the point? We are in different places right now and no matter what I say to him, its not going to do any good. It's just delaying the obvious conclusion that it's over; we are over.
It's what he wants right now and me secretly hoping that he'll wake up and change his mind, is not healthy for either of us. I know this. But yet I still want to call him.
And I feel horrible because I WANT to call him. I was doing so much better the last few weeks; and I was so proud of myself because of it. But I don't feel proud of myself today.
I'm allowing myself one day to feel this way and then tomorrow I'm putting it away. No more feeling sorry for myself because really, what good does it do?