Friday, October 17, 2008

I live in a Frat House

When me and "kammie" decided to get a place together there were many people who didn't think it would be a good idea. I knew that we wouldn't fight so I didn't see any problem with us living together. But that's not what people were worried about and as of these last two nights I can see where they were coming from.

As I said, I was super sick on Wednesday because we all went out for her birthday so that wasn't anything out of the ordinary. I'm not sure if it was just a hangover or if i was actually sick but either way, it was bad. It might have been a combination of both because "kammie" seems to have had the same thing. Last night she couldn't even make it to the toilet and since she was feeling so bad, I ended up having to clean it up. Red Jamba Juice all over the bathroom floor. YUCK!

I know this is not the funnest post, but I just needed to make a point of how I see this going. What my friends and family meant when they said they weren't sure about us living together, did not have anything to do with how we would get along, but that we might get along too well and our partying would get out of control. I seriously felt like I was at a frat house last night cleaning up puke and almost gagging myself from the smell.

I did sit home last night and rest though, which is good because after the call I got today from the Ex, I'm definitely going out tonight and getting wasted.

Voicemail from the Ex:

"Hi, I'm just calling to say hi. You're friend Jenny came into my work today and asked me if I was your boyfriend and it was really awkward. I don't know whats going on with you but you wont answer your phone and I just want to make sure you're OK. Well, you know where I work so feel free to stop in anytime. OK bye. "


I know, I know. This is the man that I'm in love with, how can I call him that? Because that is exactly the way that I feel today.

I am so tired of sitting back and being there for him whenever he decides he wants to talk, and being understanding about the fact that he needs his "space" right now and doesn't want to be in a relationship. He's trying to "do him."

Well buddy, I'm "doing me" right now. And that includes not answering your calls, sparse as they are. I am not available whenever YOU decide you want to talk. I wanted to answer the phone so bad, it was almost a physical ache, and I still want to call him back, but I'm not going to.

Its better this way. He needs to realize that he cant have his cake and eat it to. Hes being selfish and hurting me in the meantime and I'm sorry, I love him, but I'm not going to do it anymore.


1 comment:

  1. OH MY --- the guy I am dating is doing the same crap. He LOVES me dearly - but says he needs to just "be" right now so he can get focused on life.

    well buddy ... LIFE is right here and it's GOOD with me in it - so you better be careful cause someone else may WANT to "be" with ME while you are doing your thing.

    sometimes life is so .....ughhhhhh