Thursday, September 18, 2008

Wishing and hoping

You know the saying "if it was meant to be it will be?" Well over the last couple of weeks i have repeated that over and over to myself as a way to cope with all of this with the ex. But is that saying really true? After every break-up i always get very upset and devastated. Obviously from the last post i have trouble letting go. Probably a result of being abandoned by my parents when i was a child. But whatever the psychychartrist diagnosis involved, it seems to be true. And after each relationship was over, i was truly sure me and whoever were meant to be. Of course i was wrong. So am i wrong now?

I mean, i understand how difficult things are now between us. And theres no going back to the way things were before, but is it possible to learn from your mistakes and make something better than what you had before? I have a sinking feeling that that wont be the case when it comes to me and the ex. He seems to have too much animosity towards me sometimes and cant seem to move forward from the past. Conversations have circled around to things that happened months ago, and you definately can never move forward if you're looking behind you. But in our case its so much more difficult than that. I know we're still in love, but as he says, "just because you love someone does not mean you end up with them." Is it naiive of me to hope that this is not the case when it comes to us?

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