Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Addictive relationships

"Milla" decided to enlighten me today on a site she found online about addictive relationships. Supposedly her and doug, the 32 year old man-boy, fit the bill to a T. So i decided to pull it up and guess what? I always knew i had an addictive personality but i never realized that i brought that over into my relationships. Heres a list from the site on how you know if you are:

1. To be happy, you need a relationship. When you are not in a relationship, you feel depressed, and the cure for healing that depression usually involves meeting a new person.
2. You often feel magnetically drawn to another person. You act on this feeling even when you suspect the person may not be good for you.
3. You often try to change another person to meet your ideal.
4. Even when a relationship isn't good for you, you find it difficult to break it off.
5. When you consider breaking a relationship, you worry about what will happen to the other person without you.
6. After a break-up, you immediately start looking for a new relationship in order to avoid being alone.
7. You are often involved with someone unavailable who lives far away, is married, is involved with someone else, or is emotionally distant.
8. A kind, available person probably seems boring to you and even if he/she likes you, you will probably reject him/her.
9. Even though you may demonstrate independence in other areas, you are fearful of independence within a love relationship.
10. You find it hard to say no to the person with whom you are involved.
11. You do not really believe you deserve a good relationship.
12. Your self-doubt causes you to be jealous and possessive in an effort to maintain control.
13. Sexually, you are more concerned with pleasing your partner than pleasing yourself.
14. You feel as if you are unable to stop seeing a certain person even though you know that continuing the relationship is destructive to you.
15. Memories of a relationship continue to control your thoughts for months or even years after it has ended.

Its safe to say admitting to any of these things is not exactly flattering but since im using this site to be honest, here are the ones that apply to me.....

#1 kinda. By that i mean that i hate dating. I hate the whole process of meeting someone new and getting to know them, and especially the first time you do the deed, what he likes and what you like, and trying to find a rhythm, not for me. Its really annoying actually. Especially if you go on a date and the guy turns out to be a complete bonehead or some creep. Please, save me. But like ive said, the freedom of being single is definately nice.

#2 definately. Especially with the ex, its almost uncontrollable.

#4 I never am the one who breaks it off. Ever. Well at least not with the guys i actually cared about.

#8 Oh god. This hits home. I am NEVER attracted to "nice guys" and have in fact used the word boring to describe them.

#10 This is proven whenever the ex calls.

#14 Again antime he calls, im so there.

#15 I have this problem with lots of things though and it does have partly to do with my ADD and stress. But I am constantly running things through my head. Its so annoying. Over and over and over.

So what to do about this? Do i face the facts and let him go? Not answer the phone maybe? And heres the worst part. I know for a fact that until someone else comes along and im engrossed in them, i will never fully let him and me go. Sad but true.

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